On the Baring of Breasts

It's time that my society decriminalized the female body, namely titties. Everything about the current legal double standards seems to violate my fundamental rights and the integrity with which I exercise sovereignty over my body. If I'm going to be inundated with photoshopped images of other women reduced to discrete portions of carnal stimulation wherever I go, why can't I take my own godamned shirt off and go to the beach like my male friends? I can't even do so in most households where I am known and trusted. Believe me, nothing about the baring of my breasts in public in any way resembles indecency or child abuse. And am I really supposed to be excited about a few token women in power, half of whom are plain stupid, when a seemingly indestructible Iron Curtain still falls over my exquisite boobs? Enough for now.

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